Hi friendZ,

“People gon’ talk whether you doing bad or good”- Rihanna

Those words are quite true. I was cleaning my closet, listening to RiRi and was kinda surprised at the meaning behind her words. Regardless of my actions, there will always be a group of people judging. I just felt like sharing that with y’all.

ANyHOW; my mood at the moment is totally holiday-yearning. I think the realisation that the two week break is almost here makes everybody slow down and just stop caring. I like to think I oppose that norm. I’m sort of doing everything I can now, to not do anything later. 

I watched Mr Peabody and Sherman yesterday, with my sisters. It is such a cute, innovative movie. If you are feeling up for some animated movies, this is for you :P

I ALSO WITNESSED A BIO MIRACLE! Encased in a silky cocoon, and struggling out was a will-be butterfly! Seriously awesome stuff.

Dear somebody-I-wish-I-could-talk-to,

Jesus. Mohammed. Gandhi. Da Vinci. Disney. Ann Frank. Galileo. Hitler. Mr Noodle from Elmo’s World.

These are all people that have largely impacted the world, or in Mr N’s case, are people who I really want to meet. My list is way longer, but the name I assure you will definitely be on the top of this list is my grandfather.

When I was four, he passed away. At that age, I did not know his significance to my life, or my mum’s. I had never met him. He had never held me, or talked to me. When we did go overseas to visit the family, he was away.

I want to talk to him. Because through this phase of maturation, I have bonded with mum greatly, and I find that the figure she most looked up to and learned from and loved was her dad. He was an intellectual, a joker, the principal of three high schools, a history teacher, yet a loving father, a wonderful husband, a supportive friend and an aspiring leader. He did not give into cultural expectations, like many people did in those days, and still do. He was a feminist, living in a masculine society. He was modest, honest, sincere and real.

And I missed out on all that. If the opportunity to talk to him surfaces, as farfetched as it seems, I want to ask him about how he approached dilemmas, and his undeniable strength.

So Jido (Arabic slang for grandpa),

Thank you for everything you have done and all the positivity you have contributed to the world.

Love always, Zahraa

BTW I found this image pretty cool :P

                                                                                                                                                         

Hi guys,

This letter is meant to be addressed to my internet friends. The thing is, my mama told me not to talk to strangers online, and the only people I ever did converse with, I did just one time. So the tumblr folk are ruled out. The only people I consider internet friends (other than you guys, of course) are my Wattpad fans/ people I fan! 

Dear Wattpadopian people,

Click after click, I am enticed by the structure of the website, and how so many people, separated by thousands of kilometres and oceans in between, are able to connect over a story. It astounds me and that’s the beauty of Wattpad.

My first friend on Wattpad, not someone I knew in real life, was Ash- LoveUnconditionally. I fell in love with her story and it was great to comment.

She inspired me to start writing my own story, and even provided great feedback. It was awesome to see how willing a stranger was to help me out, and that’s what made me realise she was a friend.

Online friends are not like friends you see in real life. These guys are definitely supportive, and they do not know everything about you, but they totally accept you. 

Through Ash, I met new people. Other teen girls finding themselves and wanting to embrace their identities. I loved it. And the thing is, we weren’t friends that only messaged each other. We were the friends that put our experiences into words and shared our thoughts in the comments section.

So thank you guys for making those boring holidays, bus rides, and cold winter nights helluva lot more bearable.

LOVE Zahraa 

HEY GUYS

So today, a friend and I went over some of the things we do that make social exchange between us and other people, completely awkward. If you can relate, that makes me feel much better! Otherwise, you can just glorify the fact that you have people skills 

1.       Not understanding social cues.
Today, in the elevator, a guy in my course asked me and my friend for our names. It is something you’d ask to initiate a conversation. We did was respond, but did not ask anything in response, and did not say anything even though he had sort of prompted us to. SO for the remaining 14 floors, the tension in the lift was sliceable. It was only when we exited the building that we realised we could have said something.

2.       The whole smile and nod thing
ok so I admit it, and if you know me, you’d probably know that I tend to black out a lot in the middle of a conversation, and I tend to drift off while you would be talking about something. If something catches my attention, I’d ask you to backtrack a little. When around people I do not know very well, I still go blank during conversations, but I would smile and nod when my attention is called on. that tends to get awkward when the person realises they had been talking for nothing really…

3.       Having no good sarcastic comebacks or cool witty insults
I think this one is fairly self-explanatory. Sorry, but I ain’t no Chandler Bing. (

4.       When you say something that goes unheard
you: “OMG HI!!”
person: **keeps walking**
you: (turn to other people) haha ok then

5.       Test marks
when we get marks for tests back, and there is this rush to find out what everybody got, and then you loudly complain about your mark, only to find that you did better than somebody else, making you feel extremely ungrateful and rude.

There are way, way more scenarios that make me wish the ground would swallow me, but it’s 10:30pm and I am beat.

SIGNING OUT,

Your chica Zahraa 

Hi reader,

How is your weekend? You know that crash you get after a major sugar high? I’m kinda in that situation right now, and lemme just say “GOOD THINGS DO NOT LAST!!”- well not in this case anyway. Just to keep this note short and sweet, I’m super duper excited for…. Actually nope I can’t really pinpoint a huge event that is jaw-droppingly fantastic haha I just thought I’d try that whole youtuber thing. But seriously, I’m anticipating the holidays as it means time for things I can not necessarily do or find time to do right now (i.e. sleep).

Just an observation, it is crazy how dynamic language is. I know I may sound like your English teacher, but really I dare you to read a novel of Charles Dickens’, or even a more recent author like J.K Rowling. Seriously the contrast in language now and then is like w0w. But I guess that’s what the skyrocketing of technological development did.

OK, to the letter.

I like to modify things, if you don’t know me already. Like find a cookie recipe, and bake up something similar but somewhat different. And since the next preselected letter bares little relevance to me, I’m going to modify the subject and write to somebody I used to admire (in a completely un-romantic way).

Dear Somebody-I-Used-To-Admire-In-A-Completely-Un-Romantic-Way,

My adoration of you began in year seven. You were someone I wanted to be. Your amazing style tactics, intriguing personality, funny stories and awesome personality. You were pretty much our community’s ‘It Girl’. Every conversation I had with you, I stored deep in my mind. I let your words help me when I was down. After all, you had faced similar experiences to me when you were younger.

And before I knew it, I started to dress like you, talk like you and talk about you! It was not a crazy obsession or anything, but like how some girls would have a celebrity inspiration, you were mine.

For a while, I did not see you, and when I did I was really excited. But something felt very off. It was as though your whole personality was a fake. You were hugely different around other people. I did not like it. You swore a lot and gave off a very materialistic and superficial vibe. All I could think around you was 'I hope I do not disappoint someone who looks up to me'.

I thought you were great, and I know you were when I was younger. Thanks for being that person I looked up to.

We’re all human and we all have our flaws. And I should definitely not be blaming you for your change of heart.

And it doesn't matter I don't see you in the same light anymore, but you are still a kind friend.

All the best,

Zahraa

Hello there friend 

So I have been the epitome of productivity lately, and on my productivity streak, here comes the next letter:

Dear StrangerS

The stranger at train station, you play your music loud and walk around, allowing other people to sit in your seat. To others, you’re the guy going through midlife crisis. To me, you are someone who doesn’t give a flying cactus about what people think of you. I respect you man.

To the stranger at Luna Park, the young adult who went on a kiddie ride about 12 times (and that was before I left) alone. You were nice to us when we wanted to sit in your row. Thanks.

To the guy at the fruit and vegetable grocery shop, the guy that helped my mum out. Thank you dude, you could’ve lost your job but you valued helping others more.

To the stranger that sat in front of on the bus. It was packed, and I tried to get off. You asked the driver to wait so that I could make my way out. Thanks man, I had a test that day so it was great to be helped out.

To the lady on the elevator at the Rialto Towers yesterday. You were sweet in maintaining phatic communication while we ascended to great heights. It really did get rid of nerves. Cheers.

To the guy on the elevator at the Rialto Towers yesterday. You were on your phone with your mum, and it was heard by everybody as we went down. She was crying loudly, and you were comforting her. I talked loudly to take the attention off you. It was really admirable the way you relieved her. She’s a lucky lady.

To the guy working at my local Subway. I don’t know your name, but you always knock money off my price and give me extra cookies. Thank you!

All you strangers did something that affected me positively. Even if it was the slightest nudge in the right way, I thank y’all for being great human beings.

From Zahraa

:D

HI!

This was a cool letter to write. I had a discussion with a few friends this week, who are taking advanced psychology, and they talked to me all about REM sleep and sleep and dreams, so it's quite a fitting letter for this week.

Dear Dreams,

When I sleep and when I'm awake, you constantly haunt me.

My awaken dreams, you are sometimes unrealistic, but you make me hope.You make me feel young. My aspirations and desires are all poured into you, and you are a beautiful, yet unattainable thing.

My dreams as I sleep, you are.... weird. It's as though my subconscious has made me out to be a ditsy character, who will do the whole cliché open the door at midnight when there's obviously a stranger. But as strange and scary, or awkward and amusing as you may be, you make me think laterally.

Awake, one of my dreams was the Hogwarts dream, where on my 11th birthday, my parents would reveal to me that we were in fact wizards, and I would be taken to Diagon Alley to purchase a wand. Another was my modern-day Cinderella story. It was so farfetched; I almost got mad that my family weren't the slightest bit mean or bossy. But you were awesome.

The dreams at night were different. I only remember the ones I talked about, or bothered to note down. The one I remember most is the day before high school. It was wild. I was yelled at for late attendance, and exposed to dire scenarios. In all its horrible-ness, I actually felt ready for any of school’s challenges the next day, so you can imagine how I felt when I realised it was a larger version of grade six.

My visions, the dreams that reflect my ambitions, you guys are terrific. Really, you inspire and make me perspire to be you. 

I guess I should say thanks for being funny to recall and motivational. I hope I'm a cool mind to dwell in, ha.

From Zahraa

P.S. Just a small request, I'd really appreciate if those clown dreams stopped happening, and I stopped falling down a tunnel of nothingness.