Erase negative attitude

Jealousy

Envy. Resentment. Bitterness. Synonymous to the evil all-consuming jealousy. And we have all fallen victim of this fundamental human feeling. Why so important? Because jealousy is a motivator. It is drive and pushes people to act, either in spite or imitation, and for good or bad.

No person can confidently and honestly say that they have never felt jealous of another. Well no person in modern society that is.

I accept that I have felt major waves of jealousy, or certain annoying tinges. But this afternoon, as I was updated of news of various events from friends, I found myself pondering over why I wasn’t jealous. I mean people I really adored, or wanted to hang out with, were gushing about some other similar candidate to me, and I was completely happy for her. And it does not help that there has been competition between me and the girl, but I did not once resent the fact that she had assumed my role in whatever broken friend group there had been.

 I guess I have matured. Or I have no time, no heart, and no energy to envy someone over something so superfluous. A relationship with popular, sociable people.

Had it been me a few  years back, I would have probably been driven to compensate for whatever the girl had done to make my ‘friends’ like her immediately.

That feeling that I had overcome jealousy was very reassuring.

But it is not always that someone is so strong to not curse another’s fortunes. I mean, at school for instance. Sure there are average achieving students, some of varied abilities and talents. But if you strive to achieve the best, then the drive is inspiration, support and goals. But eventually, other people come in the way. Students get praised for participation in a competition that immediately makes the teacher fonder of them. And you feel almost defeated. Almost. ‘That lucky bastard. Damn them. OK well, let’s try harder at the upcoming test. Let’s BEAT them’, you tell yourself.

You have just turned a person’s achievement into a cursed event. That student could have been working night and day on that project, for weeks even, and as they get the praise they deserve, the only thing that goes through your mind is ‘I can do even better’.

That is not healthy. That may be, when it happens minimally, but when you see everybody as competition, you lose. You are defeated.

In the future, you will view a friend as an opponent. Your own family or siblings as obstacles. Your love life could be placed in havoc. And believe me, these scenarios do happen very often, and have very severe consequences.

So what do you do? You have to learn to turn away. Focus on how happy the person must be. Be selfless for once. Just open your eyes and realize that you aren’t the only one dreaming, planning and acting. Everybody is. You just have to learn to accept it, live with it, support it and remain confident in your own ability.

Don’t let it consume you. Seriously don’t.